Disappear

and never leave

Little half moons 
rise in the palm of my hand,
when curled nails dig 
in my clenched fist.

Chew them down 
until I taste regret,
work my fingers 
until they break
and let go.

I am bleach and ammonia 
mixed to cheap poison.
The brittle brush
scrubbing the shower
screaming only steam.

Like sugar 
stirred in hot water
sometimes I disappear.